February 6, 2019

Celebrating Valentine’s Day: Does It Matter?

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and, predictably, this holiday will trigger a variety of reactions for many of you. Whether you love it, hate it, or […]

By Annie Wright|Relationship

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and, predictably, this holiday will trigger a variety of reactions for many of you.

Whether you love it, hate it, or ambivalent about it, there’s often an unspoken pressure to celebrate this day.

But today we ask the question, does celebrating Valentine’s Day even matter?

As a therapist, I don’t believe that it’s helpful to have pressure or rules about how (and how much) to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Like with any other holiday, it’s subjective.

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Meaning if it feels important to you, then yes, it’s important. If it doesn’t feel important to you, then similarly, you don’t have to place importance on it.

Despite social pressure, you always get to decide which holidays you want to celebrate and how you want to celebrate them.

What can be tricky is when you have a couple where one person places significance and importance on the day and the other doesn’t. In this case, it’s up to the couple themselves to negotiate the level of importance and celebration they want to put on Valentine’s Day.

If this is the case for you and your partner, it can be really helpful to have a conversation with your significant other about why it feels so significant for them: Is it because it’s a way that they feel loved?

Did they have a series of lonely and disappointing Valentine’s Days while growing up and so now the holiday feels triggering and more weighted?

Would they feel equally loved and supported if you two celebrated another way on another day instead of feeling pressured to do Valentine’s Day with roses, chocolates, and a nice meal out?

By having an honest conversation and unpacking assumptions about how and why you want or don’t want to celebrate the holiday, you can learn what’s at the root of the issue for both of you and possibly find a solution that feels good to both of you.

So remember, in asking the question does celebrating Valentine’s Day even matter, the answer is completely subjective – it’s completely up to you to define. And it’s a conversation and a negotiation between you and your partner if you differ in your opinions on the day.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s Day. Do what’s right for you.

Medical Disclaimer

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