Therapy Issues

Attachment Trauma often shows up as persistent, painful patterns in your adult relationships, making it feel impossible to find security or trust. You might find yourself constantly anxious about abandonment, leading to ‘protest behaviors’ like excessive calling or seeking reassurance (anxious attachment), or you might emotionally withdraw and keep partners at a distance to protect yourself (avoidant attachment). These reactions aren’t character flaws; they are deeply wired survival strategies developed in response to early relational experiences. At Evergreen Counseling, we recognize these patterns as symptoms of an underlying attachment injury, and our work focuses on gently exploring the roots of these reactions to help you build healthier, more secure connections.

The right time is whenever the pain of your current relationship patterns becomes greater than the fear of seeking help. If you find yourself repeatedly cycling through the same painful relationship dynamics, struggling with intense emotional regulation, or feeling chronically lonely even when you’re with people, it’s time to reach out. Attachment issues are not something you can simply ‘fix’ with willpower; they require the safety and expertise of a therapeutic relationship to heal. Evergreen Counseling provides that secure base, and we encourage you to start the process as soon as you feel ready to invest in lasting change and deeper connection.

Healing Attachment Trauma requires a relational, body-centered, and trauma-informed approach that goes beyond just talking about your past. At Evergreen Counseling, we often utilize modalities like Internal Family Systems (IFS) to understand the protective parts of you that developed due to early trauma, and Somatic Experiencing to help you complete the survival responses that are still trapped in your body. We also integrate Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to reprocess the specific memories and beliefs that cemented your insecure attachment style. This multi-modal approach ensures we are treating the trauma at the level of the mind, the body, and the relationship system.

Therapy for Attachment Trauma is fundamentally different because it focuses on the relational wound itself, rather than just the surface-level conflicts or symptoms. Unlike traditional talk therapy, our trauma-informed approach at Evergreen Counseling prioritizes creating a consistently safe and predictable therapeutic relationship, which becomes the primary vehicle for healing. We don’t just teach coping skills; we work to repair the deep-seated expectation that relationships are unsafe or unreliable. This involves slower pacing, careful attention to your nervous system, and utilizing modalities that specifically target the implicit, non-verbal memory of trauma.

Healing from Attachment Trauma is a deeply personal journey, not a fixed timeline, but you can expect to start noticing shifts in your emotional reactivity and relationship choices within the first few months. Because attachment patterns were developed over a lifetime, the work is often long-term, typically spanning a year or more, as we slowly and safely build a new, secure internal foundation. The goal isn’t to rush the process, but to create sustainable, felt change, which is why we emphasize pacing and client autonomy. You will know therapy is working when you can tolerate closeness without panic and maintain your sense of self without needing to withdraw.

While some people find medication helpful for managing acute symptoms like severe anxiety or depression that often co-occur with Attachment Trauma, it is rarely the sole solution for healing the underlying relational wound. Medication can provide a valuable window of stability to engage in the deeper therapeutic work, but the process of building a secure attachment style must happen through corrective emotional experiences in therapy. At Evergreen Counseling, we believe that trauma-informed therapy, utilizing modalities like IFS and Somatic Experiencing, is the primary path to healing, and we can collaborate with your prescriber if you choose to explore medication support.

A session focused on Attachment Trauma is a collaborative exploration of your present-day relational experiences and how they connect to your past. We will spend time tracking your nervous system’s response to different topics—noticing where you feel tension, numbness, or a desire to flee—using techniques from Somatic Experiencing. We might also use the therapeutic relationship itself as a safe laboratory, processing moments of rupture and repair to build your capacity for secure connection. The focus is always on experiencing security and regulation, not just intellectually discussing the trauma, ensuring the work is gentle, paced, and deeply impactful.

No, you absolutely do not have to recount detailed narratives of your trauma to heal your attachment wounds. Our trauma-informed approach at Evergreen Counseling prioritizes your safety and autonomy above all else. Attachment Trauma is often stored as implicit, non-verbal memory—a feeling in the body or an automatic relational reaction—rather than a clear story. We can effectively heal these wounds using modalities like EMDR and IFS by focusing on the impact of the trauma and the resulting attachment patterns, without requiring you to relive painful events. We will always follow your lead and ensure that the pace of the work feels safe and manageable for your nervous system.

Yes, therapy is strictly confidential, and your privacy is a cornerstone of the safe environment we create at Evergreen Counseling. Everything you share with your therapist is protected by professional ethics and legal privilege, meaning no one—not your partner, family, or employer—will know you are in therapy unless you choose to tell them. The only exceptions to this confidentiality are legally mandated and involve situations where there is an immediate and serious risk of harm to yourself or others, or in cases of suspected child or elder abuse. We will discuss these limits fully in our first session so you feel completely secure in the therapeutic space.

Evergreen Counseling operates as an out-of-network provider, which means we do not bill insurance companies directly. This allows us to prioritize your clinical care and utilize the most effective trauma-informed modalities without insurance restrictions. However, we are committed to making our services accessible, and we will provide you with a detailed document called a superbill after each session. You can submit this superbill directly to your insurance provider for potential reimbursement, depending on your out-of-network benefits. We encourage you to contact your insurance company to understand your specific coverage for mental health services.

Finding the right therapist is the most critical factor in healing Attachment Trauma, as the therapeutic relationship itself is the agent of change. A good fit for attachment work means you feel a genuine sense of safety, non-judgment, and emotional attunement with your therapist. We recommend scheduling an initial consultation to gauge this connection—pay attention to how your body feels in their presence and whether you feel truly seen and heard. At Evergreen Counseling, all our therapists are trained in trauma-informed care, and we encourage open communication about the fit; if it’s not right, we will gladly help you find a better match.

Healing from Attachment Trauma means moving from a place of chronic anxiety or avoidance to a place of earned secure attachment. Success isn’t the absence of conflict, but the ability to navigate it with resilience and repair. It looks like feeling comfortable with both intimacy and independence, trusting your own judgment, and choosing partners who are emotionally available and consistent. You will notice a quiet confidence in your relationships, a significantly calmer nervous system, and the ability to ask for your needs to be met without fear of rejection. Ultimately, it means feeling safe and whole within yourself, regardless of what is happening in your external relationships.